Getting free from sticky thoughts

Published on by Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSP15 Comments

It was the end of a long day and long days often leave me feeling very tired and depleted of energy. Those nagging nasty thoughts started to get the upper hand. You know the ones I mean: This will never change. She always does that. He doesn’t understand. No one cares…. We all have our own little set of ugly thoughts that rear their heads when we feel overwhelmed or pushed aside or misunderstood.

It would be one thing if these troublesome thoughts just passed through our minds and kept on going, but somehow, at least sometimes, they get caught. They become sticky thoughts, patterns of reflection that have an emotionally-heavy content to them that weighs us down. Thoughts like these become sticky traps, like glue boards that we use to catch rodents who have made their nest in our house. We become caught in the cycle of negativity (and at times nastiness or hopelessness), trapped by the stickiness that won’t let these thoughts be released…won’t let our hearts be freed from their deadening weight.

So that night I was thinking about why we keep holding on to these sticky thoughts with a vice grip. And I discovered three reasons. We’ve been convinced that:

  1. These sticky thoughts make complete sense to our rational mind and our ego that believes (at least sometimes) that we’re better, others don’t get it, someone else should pay for what they did to us.
  2. Nasty thoughts are a poison and to save ourselves from their toxicity we share them with others. We convince ourselves even more of their truthfulness and create a facade of falseness we need to keep up.
  3. When we share our negative stories about others, ourself, and situations we cause others to think negatively. It becomes a snowball racing down a hill that we can’t stop because it is impossible to take back words once spoken.

Definitely the pattern of the elder brother in the parable of the Prodigal Son.

Into this examen, into this image which represents the distorted falseness of my heart, comes the person of Jesus. He is dusting. Cleaning. Rearranging. Happy. Humming. Non-possessive. It isn’t a big deal to him, this sticky mess that is a big deal to me. He knows it will be different when he’s through.

What does Jesus know that I forget?

“Every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realm has already been lavished upon us as a love gift from our wonderful heavenly Father, the Father of our Lord Jesus—all because he sees us wrapped into Christ. This is why we celebrate him with all our hearts! And he chose us to be his very own, joining us to himself even before he laid the foundation of the universe! Because of his great love, he ordained us, so that we would be seen as holy in his eyes with an unstained innocence” (Ephesians 1:3-4 TPT).

Jesus can remove me gently from my sticky captivating thoughts, because he reveals to me who I am.

These types of thoughts charged with the energy of the passions tend to boast a power that deflects us from our basic goodness which is God’s gift to us—”he sees us wrapped into Christ.”

Both the elder brother and the younger son of the loving Father in the Parable of the Prodigal remind us that we need to remember that we have been lavished with sonship, chosen to be the Father’s very own, seen as holy in his eyes with an unstained innocence.

Jesus, the One who recreates and rehabilitates the sticky mess of my life, now possesses me.

I belong to him, as St Paul says:

“If you have really experienced the Anointed One, and heard his truth, it will be seen in your life; for we know that the ultimate reality is embodied in Jesus! And he has taught you to let go of the lifestyle of the ancient man, the old self – life, which was corrupted by sinful and deceitful desires that spring from delusions. Now it’s time to be made new by every revelation that’s been given to you. And to be transformed as you embrace the glorious Christ-within as your new life and live in union with him! For God has re-created you all over again in his perfect righteousness, and you now belong to him in the realm of true holiness. So discard every form of dishonesty and lying so that you will be known as one who always speaks the truth, for we all belong to one another” (Ephesians 4:21-25 TPT)

We humans have a negativity bias, meaning the bad things that we see, hear, and experience far outweigh the positive and pleasurable experiences. My angry reaction to a perceived slight will stick with me longer than my meditation on being the delight of the Lord. The negative and nasty things we remember make it just about impossible to see beyond to what is most true about ourselves and others, the goodness that is most truly who we are. If we know that this is true about the human mind and heart, it is only an intentional focusing of our thoughts and leaps of the heart on what is most true that will yield happiness and holiness in our lives.

To intentionally focus on the freeing power of truth, here are some tips:

  1. End the day by listing three positive and delightful things that happened in your life and in the lives of those around you.
  2. When you notice any nasty negativeness immediately replace it by stating what is true, “I believe you, Jesus, are here.” “I know that you are in him/her at this very moment. Show me.”
  3. Go a step further and say to someone you are interiorly having a difficult time appreciating one thing you want them to know about themselves that is truly a gift they are sharing with others.

It doesn’t take much energy to be negative. That can easily come about without us lifting a finger. Appreciative watchfulness and intentional kindness take effort. At least at first. Once appreciation and delightful kindness begin to flow through our thoughts and heart, it will easily wash away the negativity, and our hearts, our relationships, and our health will once again flourish.

Feel free to let me know how this touched you in the comments below.

From my heart to yours,
Sr Kathryn

ENJOYED THIS ARTICLE? HERE ARE 5 WAYS TO GO DEEPER…

God has amazing ways of knocking on people’s hearts, awakening desires, arousing questions, provoking an unexpected spiritual fire. If you have enjoyed this article, and are ready to embark on a sustained spiritual journey, here are 6 ways you can join me on the journey:

  1. Join my private Facebook Group and walk the road of healing with a great group of people. I offer a half-hour live spiritual conference here Tuesday evenings at 7pm EST
  2. Sign-up for my letter Touching the Sunrise. I write a letter a couple times a month from my heart to yours to support you along the way.
  3. Explore my books: Surviving Depression: A Catholic Approach; Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments; Just a Minute Meditations Deeper Trust and Inner Peace.  Enroll in the free 5-day email series introducing Reclaim Regret.
  4. Enroll in courses on Midlife, Contemplative Prayer, and a do-it-yourself downloadable Surviving Depression retreat
  5. Become a part of the HeartWork Community, a place where you can ask the hard questions and find a path to a life that is free, fulfilling and fruitful.

 

Risk Believing in Divine Possibilities

Published on by Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSPLeave a comment

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-c76rx-be908e

When situation in life are dark, frightening, uncertain, it is likely that we will feel apprehensive, fearful, maybe paralyzed. These three women in today’s podcast, show us the power of risking to believe that God is always bringing about life in our situations in life. They risked believing not in human possibilities, but in divine ones. And so can we.

ENJOYED THIS ARTICLE? HERE ARE 5 WAYS TO GO DEEPER…

God has amazing ways of knocking on people’s hearts, awakening desires, arousing questions, provoking an unexpected spiritual fire. If you have enjoyed this article, and are ready to embark on a sustained spiritual journey, here are 6 ways you can join me on the journey:

  1. Join my private Facebook Group and walk the road of healing with a great group of people. I offer a half-hour live spiritual conference here Tuesday evenings at 7pm EST
  2. Sign-up for my letter Touching the Sunrise. I write a letter a couple times a month from my heart to yours to support you along the way.
  3. Explore my books: Surviving Depression: A Catholic Approach; Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments; Just a Minute Meditations Deeper Trust and Inner Peace.  Enroll in the free 5-day email series introducing Reclaim Regret.
  4. Enroll in courses on Midlife, Contemplative Prayer, and a do-it-yourself downloadable Surviving Depression retreat
  5. Become a part of the HeartWork Community, a place where you can ask the hard questions and find a path to a life that is free, fulfilling and fruitful.

 

How to Free Yourself from Inner Prisons

Published on by Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSPLeave a comment

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-wrtzy-be8fcd

This experience of personal discovery and deep prayer explores the prisons within that hold us captive. In prayer we desire to be progressively transformed into who we really are before the face of God who truly IS. This may or may not change our outer situation, but as we remain in God’s presence, our inner being shines with that radiance. And through varying circumstances, everyone (including ourselves) can see God loving into existence our most authentic self, the person he created us to be.

Using the image of a prison, explore imprisoning situations you have lived through or are currently living in. These situations could have been created by someone’s attitudes toward you; a situation of injustice or abuse; events in your childhood; your own fears or shyness; a financial or physical tragedy; a betrayal, etc. What have you’re your imprisoning situations?

Reflecting on these imprisoning situations, you may become aware of certain “life lessons” that were impressed upon you over the years. These “life lessons” may have seemed helpful for a time, but may be obstacles to growth and maturity at this point in your life.

These injunctions became signposts to survival. We came to believe that, in order to be accepted or loved, we needed to:

  • disappear,
  • not think,
  • conform,
  • remain a child, or
  • protect ourselves from love.

Thus, we began to shut off the truest part of who we are.

Now is the time when God invites you to be free of all that.

ENJOYED THIS PODCAST? HERE ARE 4 WAYS TO GO DEEPER…

God has amazing ways of knocking on people’s hearts, awakening desires, arousing questions, provoking an unexpected spiritual fire. If you have enjoyed this article, and are ready to embark on a sustained spiritual journey, here are 4 ways you can join me on the journey. You can learn more about them at touchingthesunrise.com.

Join my private Facebook Group and walk the road of healing with a great group of people. I offer a half-hour live spiritual conference here Tuesday evenings at 7pm EST.

Sign-up for my letter Touching the Sunrise. I write a letter a couple times a month from my heart to yours to support you along the way.

Explore my books: Surviving Depression: A Catholic Approach; Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments; Just a Minute Meditations Deeper Trust and Inner Peace.

Become a part of the HeartWork Community, a place where you can ask the hard questions and find a path to a life that is free, fulfilling and fruitful.

Journey with the Holy Spirit: The Gift of Wisdom

Published on by Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSPLeave a comment

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-99w2a-bccc02

It belongs to the gift of wisdom to contemplate the divine. Through a special instinct and movement of the Spirit we penetrate the very life of the Trinity. Those who experience the power of the gift of wisdom understand the words of the psalmist, “Taste and see how good the Lord is” (Ps 34: 9). The word taste means that there is a certain delight that is more than just feeling or excitement. There is an impulse that is truly divine that gives our hearts an ineffable joy that seems to be from heaven itself. Indeed, the gift of wisdom is surpassed only by the beatific vision which will be ours in eternity.

Souls that are under the Holy Spirit’s gift of wisdom love God because he is infinitely good and lovable. They love God for his own sake, not for any human motive of self-interest. Because they see God within them, they see God also in all things, in the smallest detail of their life, and in a special way in their neighbor. It is the gift of wisdom that allows us to see Christ in the poor, in those who suffer, in the heart even of the “enemy.” They are happy to deprive themselves, putting the interests of others before them.

When the Spirit actively operates within us with the gift of wisdom, we do not judge things from a purely natural and human point of view. When things don’t develop the way people want them to, it is not surprising that they accuse others for deliberately or inadvertently being the cause of their problems. Truly spiritual people, wise people, evaluate things, even unfortunate or contrary events, from God’s point of view and in a supernatural light, with a spirit of equanimity.

Journey with the Holy Spirit: The Gift of Fear of the Lord

Published on by Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSPLeave a comment

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-nwqxj-bccbf0

In Scripture “to fear God” is to be in awe of his power and knowledge. To fear God requires a daring heart!

Only a heart that fears God can be joyful. Fear is a word that we typically interpret as referring to a state of emotional distress in the face of some danger to our personal safety. The term “fear of the Lord” appears over 100 times in the Old Testament. For example: And now, Israel, what does the Lord, your God ask of you but to fear the Lord, your God, and follow his ways exactly, to love and serve the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul (Deuteronomy 10:12). However, in the New Testament, the term is only mentioned two times and has been transformed into a sense of awe that is joyful rather than horrified. It is the gift of fear that gives us an unmistakable and irrefutable sense of God’s closeness and his ultimate victory over all evil in the world.

The gift of fear of the Lord gives us a greater sense of the greatness of God that should spark in our hearts a sense of amazement and awe that could bring us down to our knees. If we abandon astonishment we are left with a mediocre piousness.

To St. Bonaventure fear of the Lord was “the most beautiful tree planted in the heart of a holy man which God waters continuously”  [II.6].  This “most beautiful tree” bears the precious fruit of love and reverence for God. Fear of the Lord for St. Bonaventure was the sort of trembling before experiences of God’s majesty that we hear perfectly encapsulated in the hymn:

Let all mortal flesh keep silence,
And with fear and trembling stand;
Ponder nothing earthly minded,
For with blessing in His hand,
Christ our God to earth descendeth
Our full homage to demand.

The fear that St. Bonaventure had in mind is sort of a continuum that spans a certain range—depending upon one’s perfection in the life of grace—from “servile fear” to “filial fear” to a fear cast out by love which has taken over one’s whole heart (cf. 1 John 4:17-18).

“Give me a book that shows me who You truly are”

Published on by Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSP1 Comment

The first time I flipped through the pages of the bestselling spiritual testament He and I, I was flabbergasted. He and I is the journal of Gabrielle Bossis, a French laywoman who lived in the first half of the twentieth century. In this book, Gabrielle documents her “simple talks” with Jesus, intimate conversations with Jesus that were real and personal. The great historian Daniel Rops wrote in his preface to the original French edition: “…here we breath the sweet fragrance of Christ.”

Whoa! I thought as I turned page after page. And then I turned to Jesus and asked, How come you don’t speak to me this way? 

Immediately the answer came back: Because you don’t listen.

One of those stop-you-in-your-tracks responses that God uses to get your attention when he has a plan.

So, okay, I’ll listen. 

As I walked down the hallway, I heard a quiet voice inside me say, You could help Sister with her bags.

So over I went and offered to help. I noticed that the more I responded to the invitations spoken in my heart, the more they came. The more I listened, the more I heard.

It was the beginning of something new and beautiful in my life.

“Loving you makes Me happy” (Jesus)

The bestselling spiritual testament He and I reveals the words of Jesus to Gabrielle Bossis, a single woman, nurse, and, in her later years, playwright, who lived in France in the early twentieth century. Bossis documented her “simple talks” with Jesus in her journals, intimate conversations with Jesus that were real and personal. After her death these journals were made public. Here are Jesus’ words to her on April 17, 1947:

The unfolding of My love in you is My personal happiness; I’m waiting for it. Everything that affects you touches Me personally. My friend, you are part of Me and I, your Christ, am part of you. Then why should I alone desire this close union? Don’t you also desire it? You see, it’s quite distressing for a friend to have to say, ‘Love Me. Think about Me. Serve My cause. Give Me your life.’ Don’t you think that the one who loves would prefer to have the other read his sentiments? And when this does happen, He is so deeply touched….” 

With these words Jesus risks telling us he is in love with us and desires both our attention and our response. Jesus has a deep “friendliness” for us that he wishes we felt toward him. The simple talks in He and I between Jesus and Bossis hold the key to the development of this friendship with Jesus. No spiritual jargon, methods, or process. Just time spent with Jesus listening to his desire for us, his love for us, his suggestions for deepening a friendship.

“I give you everything for nothing” (Jesus)

One of my favorite words from Jesus to Gabrielle: “Keep in mind more often that I give you everything for nothing: all My heaven for your nothingness and for the mere pittance of your yearnings.” Yes. All of creation, the death and resurrection of Jesus, the sacraments and his Body and Blood given to me for food each Sunday or daily if I desire it, eternal life … all of this for the “mere pittance” of our yearnings for him. That yearning can stretch from “fulfilling our Sunday obligation,” zipping in and out of Mass, or “writing a check for a charity,” all the way to seeking Jesus present in everyone, every place, and everything. So many Christian lives, even when religious duties are meticulously fulfilled, are saddened because they lack the vibrant beauty of desire.

In reading the words of the Lord as recorded by Gabrielle, we discover that all Jesus is asking for is desire, which he defines simply as focusing our eyes on him no matter what we are doing.

“I will just say that Jesus is irresistible” (Amanda)

I found in the Amazon reviews for He and I these two I’d like to share with you. The first is from “Amanda”: “As a reader and lover of books, I prayed to Jesus to find me a book about Him that shows who he truly is and I came across this book. Jesus is soo… I cannot find the words to describe his character and personality I will just say he’s irresistible. My beautiful Jesus. This book is life-changing. It changed me.”

The second is from someone who identifies themself as “loves teaching”: “This book will change your life in soooo many ways. Every time I pick it up and read, it is as if Jesus is speaking and correcting me himself. It fits the situation every time. Amazing. You will develop your own love affair and love story with Him and He with you. You will not be the same person after you have read a few chapters of the book. You will come away with the sense of knowing who you are, who created you, and what is expected of you now that you know who He IS. Get the tissue out. It is a real eye opener. Life is hard and unfair. As I read the book, I could only handle a few pages at a time. Sometimes, it was one page and that was it. Everything about you will change.”

“I have learned what Jesus’ voice is like” (Sr. Kathryn)

So tonight I am looking through my own journal. Flipping through the pages, I see a little conversation with Jesus of my own.

Every interruption, Jesus, every request, every moment I am hidden behind the scenes is an Annunciation moment. 

Without waiting for even a second, Jesus confirmed: It is I who am pouring you in Mary’s mold so that you may take on my features. 

A gift to be met by a leap of the heart… 

Yes, he responded. I’m bending your will so you see the advantage of mine. I’m shaping you. 

Thank you. 

By reading the words of Jesus to Gabrielle Bossis, I had learned what Jesus’ voice is like, the kind of things Jesus says, how he is interested in the things I am interested in. How he is always there, a silent Friend just waiting to enter into conversation with me. You could say I got used to hearing how Jesus speaks in an everyday life by “listening in” on how he spoke to Gabrielle.

Of course, I had meditated on the gospels, and applied the words of Jesus recorded there to my life, and tried to follow him in every way I could. But sometimes I just need something simple. I want to know I’m loved, safe, and wanted, just like everyone else.

This little exchange between Gabrielle and Jesus on September 17, 1937 expresses best what I am trying to say. Gabrielle writes about something she had witnessed: A little girl said to her father, “Give me your hand.” And Jesus tells her, Say that to me often. 

My friends, Jesus doesn’t need grand statements or heroic heights of perfection from us. He leads us to happiness and holiness through simple presence and little actions. You can learn to recognize the way Jesus enters into the smallest realities of our life and teaches us what our hearts most want to learn by listening in on another’s conversations with the Lord.

Let Jesus’ tender voice fill your heart

Just a little bit every day is all you need. As your conversation partner, Jesus will teach you. You will learn to love his voice, to love his will, to love his people. You will surprise yourself at how easily you slip into this friendship with the Lord.

Jesus Speaking: Heart to Heart with the King is a new daily devotional based on He and I. It will release on September 14, 2019. Each day you will find a short Scripture passage, a few lines from Jesus as recorded in He and I, and a conversation starter for your own prayer. Listen in on Jesus’ conversations with Gabrielle Bossis and start your own.

His tender voice will fill your heart.

Purchase Jesus Speaking before September 14 and save with a special pre-release offer. Learn more. 

ENJOYED THIS ARTICLE? HERE ARE 5 WAYS TO GO DEEPER…

God has amazing ways of knocking on people’s hearts, awakening desires, arousing questions, provoking an unexpected spiritual fire. If you have enjoyed this article, and are ready to embark on a sustained spiritual journey, here are 6 ways you can join me on the journey:

  1. Join my private Facebook Group and walk the road of healing with a great group of people. I offer a half-hour live spiritual conference here Tuesday evenings at 7pm EST
  2. Sign-up for my letter Touching the Sunrise. I write a letter a couple times a month from my heart to yours to support you along the way.
  3. Explore my books: Surviving Depression: A Catholic Approach; Reclaim Regret: How God Heals Life’s Disappointments; Just a Minute Meditations Deeper Trust and Inner Peace.  Enroll in the free 5-day email series introducing Reclaim Regret.
  4. Enroll in courses on Midlife, Contemplative Prayer, and a do-it-yourself downloadable Surviving Depression retreat
  5. Become a part of the HeartWork Community, a place where you can ask the hard questions and find a path to a life that is free, fulfilling and fruitful.