Author: Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSP

The image that has drawn me in my ministry is Touching the Sunrise. I believe each person, no matter where they are and what they have lived, is a temple of the Trinity and can, indeed, taste the presence of God within. You can find resources for healing and prayer and follow me at touchingthesunrise.com.

Are you skipping the first step of prayer?

Published on by Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSPLeave a comment

The way we start anything is super important.

When I forget to pay attention to the way I begin to pray I feel like my prayer begins to “sag.” I lose attention. I lack desire. My mind and heart are fragmented and tired. Without an intentional beginning, prayer often ends up never arriving at the heart of God.

Try this exercise for Clearing the Space to intentionally enter into prayer.

Recall a “wow” moment

Remember a time when you felt something with your whole being. For instance when you pick up a puppy dog lost in the rain, your heart goes out to the poor animal. You can “feel” how much you care. The same when you interact with a baby. We can’t help loving such a little one. You pay attention with your mind and your heart. You want the best for the child. You let go of whatever else is taking your attention.

Now recall a time when you felt God close to you, a “wow” moment, an overwhelm moment. Go ahead. Stop and do it right now. It could be as simple as an evening when you watched the sun slowly set or as profound as an experience of prayer in which you felt seen, known, spoken to by God or by the Blessed Mother.

Soak in that presence, that sense of mystery, warmth, tenderness, security

As you re-enter that experience, pay attention to how it registers in your feelings. Similarly, when we encounter the divine, we know on every level of our being that we are in the presence of God. Soak in that presence, that sense of mystery, warmth, tenderness, security. To soak in something is to let it permeate every inch of your being. To stay. To abide. To remain. To allow. To sit with something that is beyond. More than.

State what you desire

In the Contemplative Prayer Experiences that we have begun in Touching the Sunrise Saint Ignatius will be leading us slowly through the stories of Jesus’ life found in the Gospel.

The very first thing Ignatius has us do when we begin to pray is to ask God for these things: a deeply felt awareness of how God draws us into the unfolding of the mystery of the Word made flesh and how in doing this we enter into a process of healing that we might love Jesus and follow him more intentionally.

This may be a long sentence but it is KEY to prayer. What do you want? What is your desire? Ignatius helps us understand what we should desire when we begin to pray with the life of our Savior. I explore every phrase in this desire in the article: God heals us that we might offer ourselves (Horizons of the Heart 15). If you missed any of the meditations in the Horizons of the Heart series you can find an index of them here.

God heals us that we might offer ourselves (Horizons of the Heart 15)

Published on by Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSPLeave a comment

The grace we are asking of God: a deeply felt awareness of how God draws us into the unfolding of the mystery of the Word made flesh and how in doing this we enter into a process of healing that we might love Jesus and follow him more intentionally

Horizons of the Heart is inspired by the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius and my own notes from my thirty-day Ignatian retreat in 2022. See an index for the whole series.

Remember a time when you felt God close to you, a “wow” moment, an overwhelm moment. It could be as simple as an evening when you watched the sun slowly set or as profound as an experience of prayer in which you felt seen, known, spoken to by God or by the Blessed Mother. As you re-enter that experience, pay attention to how it registers in your feelings. When you pick up a puppy dog lost in the rain, your heart goes out to the poor animal. You can “feel” how much you care. The same when you interact with a baby. We can’t help loving such a little one. Similarly, when we encounter the divine, we know on every level of our being that we are in the presence of God. Soak in that presence, that sense of mystery, warmth, tenderness, security.

In our Contemplative Prayer Experiences in which we enter into the stories of Jesus’ life, we are asking of God these things: a deeply felt awareness of how God draws us into the unfolding of the mystery of the Word made flesh and how in doing this we enter into a process of healing that we might love Jesus and follow him more intentionally.

  1. A deeply felt awareness: not a notional knowledge, but an awareness that reaches deep down within us, that transforms us from the inside out with the movements of God’s mysterious reaching out to us; a transformation that is worked on the level of memories, desires, imagination, what is barely conscious but which has an inordinate say regarding how we think, feel, and act in our day-to-day life
  2. …of how God draws us into the unfolding of the mystery of the Word made flesh: as we enter into the dance of prayer and love, God draws our life into the unfolding of his Son’s life, Jesus the Word made flesh. We are not here and Jesus over there somewhere, a story in our memories, a picture in our imagination.As we enter into Jesus’ life, as we speak with him, our lives are brought together with his. We are healed as Jesus lives out the mystery of his life in us.
  3. …how in doing this we enter into a process of healing: As we enter into the stories of Jesus’ life, there may surface in our lives a deep emptiness, a black hole in our heart, an unexplained fear, agitation, or resistance. As we appreciate God’s gift of his Son who lived among us, we allow Jesus’ mystery to touch us deeply particularly in those places in our life in which we carry heavy burdens and bear wounds of which we may even be unconscious.
  4. …that we might love Jesus and follow him more intentionally: The Spiritual Exercises very gently lead us from healing to self-offering, to that commitment to follow Jesus with our whole heart no matter where he may lead, no matter what it may cost.

As you reflect on this grace, what is it that strikes you most? Are there wounds in your life that come to mind? Would you say that you are ready to give God everything, or is God gently leading through a path of healing and mercy to prepare you to receive this great grace?

Return to the experience of God’s closeness with which you began this prayer. Ask God what it is that he wants you to know? To see? To believe?

Image credit: Hugo Gonzalez by Cathopic

We are loved to give love away to the world (Mark 16:15-18)

Published on by Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSPLeave a comment

Today the Church celebrates the conversion of one of the greatest followers of Jesus: the apostle Saint Paul. When we first meet Paul in the Acts of the Apostles, he is clearly a young rabbi who had a hatred for the followers of Jesus. As St. Stephen was being stoned, those who took part in his martyrdom laid their cloaks at Paul’s feet. This zealot is described as entering house after house and dragging men and women out to hand them over for imprisonment (cf. Acts 8:3b).

As Paul approached Damascus with letters to bring back to Jerusalem any he found living as followers of the Way, Jesus met him. Surrounded by blinding light, Paul, who had been “breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples,” was humbled to the ground. Instead of speaking, he was made to listen. This heart that had been filled with such hatred for the followers of Jesus found, suddenly and immediately, a love beyond his comprehension from the very one he had been persecuting.

“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” Jesus told him. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do” (v 5-6).

Paul’s call, his conversion, left him blind, and like a child, he was led into Damascus where he was baptized three days later by Ananias, a member of the community of disciples he had intended to round up and take back to Jerusalem for punishment.

Paul was called. Paul was converted, changed, transformed. Paul was baptized so that he would carry out the mission Jesus had chosen him for: to go into the whole world, far beyond the boundaries of Jerusalem, to proclaim the good news to every creature.

Paul’s call has become the paradigm of every Christian calling since. We are called not for ourselves, but for others. We are loved, not to hold that sense of God’s love for us close to our own hearts, but to give it away to as many people as possible. We are transformed so that we might radiate to the world what it is to be truly human, truly Christ-like, totally Christian. In other words, today’s feast is a window onto the most important task you and I have on this earth: “Go into the whole world and proclaim the gospel to every creature.”

After Paul regained his sight, he immediately began to preach to the Jews of Damascus about Jesus. He was met with disbelief and threats against his life. Paul had to learn that this mission to go to the very ends of the earth spurred on by the love of Christ, though a huge task, wasn’t going to be accomplished on his own terms. Eventually, he was sent away by the disciples to Tarsus. For three years he waited in study and prayer until Barnabas remembered him and thought he might be able to help out the community in Antioch.

The Church is given a great commission to proclaim the gospel to every creature, and yet in our experience, the best and the brightest and the most promising people are often sidelined or walk away. People don’t get along and it seems that perfect opportunities are missed. There is so much to do we want to get started right away, throwing ourselves into the project, and God tells us to wait and study and pray. We devise strategies and develop plans, and God undoes them all to bring about his own. Sometimes I feel that these are the signs that accompany those who believe. More than healing the sick and driving out demons, speaking new languages, and picking up serpents with our bare hands, God leaves us in confusion and humility as we wait upon his Word. What set-back or suffering are you bearing for the sake of the Gospel?

You and I are commissioned to share with every person on this earth the story of Christ’s life, death and resurrection. To whom is God sending you today to share the good news?

Praying with this passage of Scripture

Lectio Divina is a way of listening to God as he speaks in his Word. It is a practice of communicating with God through Scripture and attending to God’s presence and what he wishes to tell us. In this slow and prayerful reading of the Word of God, we allow ourselves to be transformed by the Spirit who forms us into the image of Christ.
There are four movement in Lectio Divina: Read (lectio), Meditate (meditation), Pray (oratio), Contemplate (contemplation).

Begin by finding a still space to pray. Breathe deeply and become quieter within. Abandon any agenda, worries or thoughts you bring to this prayer and entrust these things to the merciful care of God. Ask for the grace to be receptive to what God will speak to you through this Scripture reading. Grant me, Jesus Divine Master, to be able to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God and your unfathomable riches. Grant that your word penetrate my soul; guide my steps, and brighten my way till the day dawns and darkness dissipates, you who live and reign forever and ever Amen.

Read (lectio)
Begin by slowly and meditatively reading your Scripture passage out loud. Listen for a particular word or phrase that speaks to you at this moment and sit with it for a time.

Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.

“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.

In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, “Ananias!”

“Yes, Lord,” he answered.

The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”

“Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your holy people in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.”

But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”

Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus.

Meditate (meditatio) – Read the same passage a second time. As you re-engage the text, let the word or phrase that stood out become your invitation to speak from your heart with God who wishes to share his heart with you. Allow this word or phrase to wash over you and permeate your thoughts and feelings. You may wish to repeat this phrase quietly and gently for a period of time.

Pray (oratio) – Read the text a third time. Listen for what God is saying to you. Speak heart to heart with God. Notice the feelings that this conversation with God raises up within you. Share with God what you notice about your response to this conversation. You may wish to return to repeating the phrase quietly and gently, allowing it to permeate you more and more deeply.

Contemplate (contemplatio)
Read the text a final time. Now be still and rest in God’s embrace. Ask God to give you a gift to take with you from this prayer. You might ask God if he is inviting you to do some action, for instance, make some change in your thoughts, attitudes or reactions, in the way you speak or how you treat others. Thank God for this gift and invitation as you conclude your prayer.

Photo Credit: Rembrandt, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Saint Rita: How to Choose Forgiveness

Published on by Sr. Kathryn J Hermes, FSP4 Comments

When we’ve been hurt by others we may struggle with feelings of anger at being treated unjustly, fear of what will happen next, guilt over our part in what may have happened, and the seeming impossibility of reconciliation. And yet, as we stay up at night replaying what has happened, we may wonder at the cost of not reconciling:

The relationships broken. The difficulty of the situations we will be put in. Losing love, support, companionship, opportunity.

Have you been there? I know you have. And so have I. Many times.

In this series on forgiveness let’s find a way through the pain, learning how to navigate the swirl of inner chaos with the help of the saints, Scripture, and some spiritual activities that will make taking the leap into forgiving seem more desirable and possible.

Let’s start with Saint Rita. This amazing Italian woman born in 14th century Italy had a lot to forgive. As a child she had a deep love for prayer and more than anything else desired to become a nun. Her parents married her off instead.

Rita entered into marriage only to discover how harsh and cruel her husband Paolo Mancini was. She was married to him for 18 years and bore him two sons. Paolo had a terrible temper and was abusive.

The young mother sought to shield her two sons from Paolo’s influence and prayed that her husband would see what was happening to the family because of his rage. She hoped that her sons would not be as angry and violent as their father. Eventually, Paolo did have a change of heart and begged forgiveness from those whose suffering he had caused. However, Paolo had made many enemies in his life, and one day he was caught in an ambush and murdered.

Now Rita was a widow left with two sons in their early teenage years. The two boys vowed to avenge their father’s death and kill the man who had taken the life of their father. Rita prayed that they would not destroy their souls by taking revenge on the life of their father by murder. She even gave the Lord “permission” to take their lives if by doing so it would save their souls. Not long after her husband’s death her two teenage sons died of natural causes. Saint Rita nursed them in their final days and they begged her forgiveness.

After her sons’ deaths, the grieving widow and mother sought out the men who had murdered her husband and established reconciliation and peace with their whole family.

After losing her husband and sons, Rita joined the Augustinian nuns and her body is incorrupt to this day. She is invoked as the saint of impossible cases.

There are four things we can learn from Saint Rita to help us think about forgiveness in new ways:

  1. Forgiveness is a way of seeing. When harm has been done to us it is often hard to get outside the quagmire of our thoughts, imaginations, emotions, and our desires to make a quick decision to “set things right” or “feel at peace.” Saint Rita teaches us to take the long view. To see beyond what appears so abundantly clear to our eyes and our heart. Forgiveness requires us to see beyond fears, reactions, expectations, both our own and those of others. Forgiveness requires that we see the other who has hurt us as a person who is loved by God, potentially, at least, my brother or sister in Christ, always worthy of respect and love.  
  2. Forgiveness is a new way of imagining situations. We struggle with forgiving others at times because we are trying to protect ourselves or others from being hurt again. When we open ourselves to imagining the situation in new ways, forgiveness offers us new possibilities for alternate responses other than anger, revenge, and defensiveness. Like Saint Rita, we discover that what seemed to be a path of darkness and hopelessness suddenly becomes the place in which we are molded into the very person God has made us to be.
  3. Forgiveness is only possible for the courageous person. I have to admit that when I have succumbed to my feelings to want to “hit back” or “take out” someone or a group who has hurt me, I feel small and petty. And I feel this way even if I am convinced I am in the right. It takes a courageous person like Saint Rita to dream of new ways of thriving in the midst of a difficult and undeserved situation.
  4. Forgiveness is rarely a one-time event. We have to be honest about the damage that has been done to us by others who have hurt us. Even if we tell God that we forgive, even if we pray for the other person and for their success and holiness, even if we think we’ve moved on, we may have to revisit the situation and the wound again and again. Like Saint Rita, we touch the complexity of situations, how they ripple through the lives and experiences of other people we know and love, how we relive again and again what happened.

Forgiveness does not come spontaneously or naturally to people. Forgiving from the heart is heroic. Only the healing power of love can enable the wounded heart to experience the liberating power of forgiveness.

When we make the courageous choice to see and imagine our lives and the lives of the person who has hurt us differently, we weaken the ego’s monopoly on our perceptions and the tempest in our emotions gets put on pause for the slightest moment in time. Then miraculously we are enabled to release, to rest, to let go, to cease ruminating on the hurt and to have compassion instead on the wounded and the wounder. We are able with the grace of God to acknowledge and affirm the greater truth of who we are and who others most deeply are.

Next look at forgiveness: What Forgiveness Is…And What It Is Not

Image Credit: Public Domain Wikimedia Commons