He began to teach them many things in parables, and in his teaching he said to them: “Listen! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and it sprang up quickly, since it had no depth of soil. And when the sun rose, it was scorched; and since it had no root, it withered away. Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. Other seed fell into good soil and brought forth grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirty and sixty and a hundredfold.” And he said, “Let anyone with ears to hear listen!”
Mark 4:1-20
When I was newer to the pilgrimage of the spiritual life, I heard mainly one verse of this passage: the good soil. I wanted to be good soil and I wanted the seed to bring forth a hundredfold! Or more!
Now in my midlife, I realize that all these various “soils” make up my soul. There are parts of my heart and my mind that I know very well. I have to admit, also, that there are other parts that are completely unknown to me. And in between there are vast expanses of my self-knowledge that are a confusing mixture of openness and resistance, longing and fear, clarity and confusion.
God loves all of my story with all of its glory and all of its messiness.
The spiritual life, it could be said, is the work of grace by which God turns the unknown resistant parts of our soul into known, open, and vulnerable spaces that we offer to him, the interior world where the Word can take root and transform us from the inside out. We are this moving frontier between what we know of ourselves and what we shall become, through the lifting up and purification of what is still unknown.
These days, I am most grateful for the ways in which Jesus reveals to me the hardness of the rocks that prevent his Word from taking root and thriving for his glory. I am relieved when he shows me the attitudes and behaviors that choke off the possibilities of living in the life of the Trinity in its fullness. I am sorry that I have kept the Lord waiting so long as I chased after things that I thought would fill my soul, or at least my time. My heart longs to create a new solitude to keep my soul off the rocky pathway and sheltered in his Shepherd’s arms.
The hope that we can achieve complete self-knowledge once and for all, and be completely available to God’s grace, now and forever, is a fiction. Everyday we are growing and changing and responding to what is developing around us. Where one day we are open, on the next, if a wound has been touched, we may close down defensively. All we can do is entrust ourselves to Jesus, desiring to be good soil that is responsive to the gift of his Word as best we can, and work gently to remove the stones and thorns and to shelter ourselves in his love.
He will do all the rest.
Image credit: Image by Plnatbest from Pixabay
Praying with this Passage of Scripture
Lectio Divina is a way of listening to God as he speaks in his Word. It is a practice of communicating with God through Scripture and attending to God’s presence and what he wishes to tell us. In this slow and prayerful reading of the Word of God, we allow ourselves to be transformed by the Spirit who forms us into the image of Christ. There are four movements in Lectio Divina: Read (lectio), Meditate (meditation), Pray (oratio), Contemplate (contemplation).
Begin by finding a still space to pray. Breathe deeply and become quieter within. Abandon any agenda, worries or thoughts you bring to this prayer and entrust these things to the merciful care of God. Ask for the grace to be receptive to what God will speak to you through this Scripture reading. Grant me, Jesus Divine Master, to be able to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God and your unfathomable riches. Grant that your word penetrate my soul; guide my steps, and brighten my way till the day dawns and darkness dissipates, you who live and reign forever and ever Amen.
Read (lectio)
Begin by slowly and meditatively reading your Scripture passage out loud. Listen for a particular word or phrase that speaks to you at this moment and sit with it for a time.
Pray (oratio)
Read the text a third time. Listen for what God is saying to you. Speak heart to heart with God. Notice the feelings that this conversation with God raises up within you. Share with God what you notice about your response to this conversation. You may wish to return to repeating the phrase quietly and gently, allowing it to permeate you more and more deeply.
Contemplate (contemplatio)
Read the text a final time. Now be still and rest in God’s embrace. Ask God to give you a gift to take with you from this prayer. You might ask God if he is inviting you to do some action, for instance, make some change in your thoughts, attitudes or reactions, in the way you speak or how you treat others. Thank God for this gift and invitation as you conclude your prayer.
Image: Myriams-Fotos; pixabay.com
Touching the Sunrise 